8 whiskies that pay better dividends than your portfolio

Nate Callahan

@natecallahan_nyc

5Items

I stare at candlestick charts all day in the Financial District so at night I need a different kind of chart: the one on the back of a whiskey bottle. These are the pours that actually beat the market, ranked by an Astoria dive-bar connoisseur who also maps pizza slices for fun. No hedge fund manager talk, just neat, no chaser. Change my mind.

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8 whiskies that pay better dividends than your portfolio — 5 items
Name	Comment	Style	Price Range	Proof
1Buffalo Trace	The blue-chip index fund of bourbon, boring in the best way and always in the portfolio.	Kentucky Straight Bourbon	$25-30	90
3Redbreast 12	Smooth enough that even my compliance officer would approve the expense report.	Single Pot Still Irish Whiskey	$55-60	80
4Woodford Reserve	Steady, well-managed, pays a reliable dividend of good vibes every pour.	Kentucky Straight Bourbon	$35-40	90.4
5Elijah Craig Small Batch	Undervalued relative to peers, this thing should be trading way higher, change my mind.	Kentucky Straight Bourbon	$30-35	94
8Jameson Black Barrel	Low volatility, high liquidity, the utility stock every dive bar shelf needs.	Irish Whiskey	$35-40	80