1 Yellow Toyota Camry Taxi | Yellow with battle scars | Crawling up Eighth Avenue around 5 p.m. | The city’s default background layer. If you don’t hear one honk in the first two minutes outside, something’s off. |
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2 Black Chevrolet Suburban | Glossy black, dark tint | Idling outside midtown hotels with hazards on forever. | Either Very Important Person or someone’s accountant on a power trip. Either way, they’re not parallel parking that thing. |
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3 Tesla Model 3 | White or dark gray | Gliding silently through Williamsburg side streets. | Looks like an iPhone someone put wheels on. Driver is either extremely chill or checking Crypto Twitter at every light. |
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4 Mercedes-Benz G-Class | Matte black or army green | Doing absolutely nothing off-road in SoHo. | A designer handbag you can’t fit in a bike lane. Makes no sense here and that’s why it’s fun to watch. |
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5 Honda CR-V | Silver or soft blue | Double-parked outside big grocery stores in Queens. | This is the ‘we finally left Manhattan’ car. Snacks in the back, stroller in the trunk, Cheerios somewhere in the seatbelt. |
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6 BMW 3 Series | Navy or charcoal | Threading traffic on the FDR like it’s a video game. | Always slightly faster and closer than you think it should be. Gives ‘consultant with a complicated points spreadsheet’ energy. |
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7 Old Volvo Wagon | Faded teal or boxy beige | Parked forever on leafy side streets in Park Slope. | Owned by a couple that composts, obviously. Probably has a car seat, a cello, and three tote bags living in the back. |
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8 Porsche 911 | Fire-engine red or sleek black | Flexing down West Side Highway on clear evenings. | Barely legal speed mixed with midlife crisis aromatherapy. You hear it before you see it and everyone does the tiny head turn. |
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9 Toyota Sienna Minivan | Champagne or gray | School drop-off zones on the Upper East and Upper West Sides. | Chaos container. Sliding doors, crushed Goldfish, one scooter, and at least two small humans negotiating snack terms. |
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10 Jeep Wrangler | Bright red or khaki | Angling for street parking near the waterfront in DUMBO. | Built for mountains, stuck in cobblestones. The spare tire cover usually tells you everything about the owner’s personality. |
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