Listen, here's the thing — I didn't grow up rich, I grew up Beverly, so my bourbon opinions come from the liquor store on 95th and a lot of trial and error, not some sommelier class. This is the lineup I actually reach for when the Bears blow a lead and my brother starts up again about the Cubs bullpen. No unicorn bottles you'll never find, no $300 gimmicks — just the stuff that's actually on a real Chicago back bar. Pour one, argue with me about it, I've got time.